Values

A personal value is a fundamental belief or principle that an individual considers important and uses to guide their behaviour, decisions, and priorities in life. Being clear about what these values are for us is essential to our well-being. We must know our core values to determine our wants and needs and communicate them to others. These are the driving forces that guide us towards happiness. If we live authentically, our actions and behaviours align with these values. 

Living out of alignment with our core values can negatively affect our well-being and sense of fulfillment in the following ways. 

1. Stress and Discontent: When our actions and choices do not align with our core values, it can lead to internal conflict and cognitive dissonance. This discrepancy can contribute to stress, anxiety, and overall dissatisfaction with life.

2. Lack of Fulfillment: Our core values are often linked to our sense of purpose and fulfillment. When we consistently act in ways that contradict these values, we may feel unfulfilled, as if something essential is missing from our lives.

3. Relationship Strain: Misalignment with core values can affect personal and professional relationships. It may lead to misunderstandings, conflicts, and a disconnect with others who may not share or understand our values.

4. Identity Crisis: Core values are integral to our sense of identity. Living in opposition to our values can contribute to an identity crisis, where we may struggle to understand who we are and what truly matters to us.

5. Lack of Motivation: Living incongruently with our values can result in a lack of motivation and enthusiasm for our pursuits. When our actions do not reflect our deeply held beliefs, it can be challenging to find purpose and drive.

6. Decision Regret: Making decisions that go against our values may lead to regret. Over time, this regret can accumulate and contribute to a sense of missed opportunities and a desire to realign our actions with our true beliefs.

7. Decreased Well-being: Overall well-being is closely tied to living authentically and aligning with our values. Ignoring or neglecting our core values can negatively impact our mental, emotional, and physical health.

Identifying your core values involves a process of self-reflection and introspection. Here are some steps to help you identify your core values:

1. Reflect on Past Experiences:

   - Consider moments in your life when you felt, particularly fulfilled, proud, or content. What were you doing? What values were being expressed or fulfilled during those times?

2. Identify Peak Experiences:

   - Think about peak experiences in your life—moments when you felt most alive or in harmony. What values were present during these moments?

3. Consider Role Models:

   - Identify people you admire or consider role models. What qualities or values do they possess that you find appealing? These qualities might reflect your own core values.

4. Examine Your Passions:

   - What activities or causes are you passionate about? The things that evoke strong emotions or commitment often align with core values.

5. Prioritize Your Values:

   - Make a list of potential values and prioritize them. Ask yourself which values are non-negotiable and essential to your identity and well-being.

6. Consider Positive and Negative Examples:

   - Reflect on situations where you felt a strong positive or negative reaction. What values were being honoured or violated in those instances?

7. Journaling:

   - Keep a journal and write about your thoughts, feelings, and experiences. Regular journaling can help you identify recurring themes and values in your life.

8. Seek Feedback:

   - Ask friends, family, or colleagues about the values they see in you. Sometimes, others can provide valuable insights into your character and values.

10. Visualize Your Ideal Life:

    - Imagine your ideal life in the future. What does it look like, and what values are evident in that vision?

11. Review and Revise:

    - Periodically review and revise your list of core values. As you grow and evolve, your values may shift or become clearer.

12. Use Values Lists:

   - Look at lists of common values to help you identify words that resonate with you. This can be a useful starting point for self-discovery.

Brené Brown's book "Dare to Lead" provides a list of possible core values that can help you identify your own.

List of core values - Brené Brown

I invite you to pick your top 10 from the list and then use the following worksheets to reflect on how your actions and behaviour align with your core values.  

Values Worksheets

For one-on-one support and coaching packages, please email joanneshank1@gmail.com.