One friend tells her that retirement was the best decision she ever made. Another suggests staying as long as she can: the income matters, and so does having somewhere to go. Someone asks what she would do with herself all day.
She had said she was considering fewer hours. Somehow, the conversation has arrived at the rest of her life.
She appreciates their interest. There may be something useful in each response. Yet she leaves with more suggestions and no clearer way to explain what she was trying to say.
Perhaps you have had a conversation like that. You mention a possibility while you are still trying to understand it, and people begin helping you decide. Meanwhile, you are wondering what, exactly, you want to be different.
What is the advice responding to
The friend who loves retirement is speaking from her own experience. The person who emphasizes income is raising a practical concern. The question about filling the day introduces another possibility: that work provides structure or companionship worth considering.
Each response brings a different part of the situation into view. You can listen for what is useful while asking which part relates to your own experience.
You may enjoy your colleagues and want more time outside work. You may take pride in what you do and feel less willing to devote so much of your week to it. You may welcome the thought of an unscheduled morning while feeling uneasy about a smaller paycheque.
Those responses deserve more attention than a quick vote for staying or leaving. What do you want less of? What would you want to retain? What are you hoping might become possible?
What research can help us notice
A June 2023 Statistics Canada survey supplement asked Canadians aged 55 to 80 about retirement. Among those who were not completely retired but planned to retire, 55.1% said they would work longer if part-time work were available. Read Statistics Canada’s findings.
That finding describes reported preferences in that surveyed group, which included women and men. It does not tell us whether reducing hours improved anyone’s life or whether a particular employer could offer the arrangement.
For our fictional woman, it opens a useful distinction to consider: how does she feel about the work itself, and how does she feel about the amount of time it occupies? She may discover that her question concerns the shape of her working week. Or she may find that something else matters more.
Research gives us something to consider. Its usefulness here lies in the question it helps us examine in our own circumstances.
Finding information that fits your question
Once you begin separating the questions, you can see more clearly what kind of information each one needs.
“Would fewer hours be available in my role?” calls for information about your actual workplace. “What would that mean for my income, benefits or pension?” requires details about your own arrangements. A friend’s experience may suggest what to ask, but those details still need checking.
For Canadian readers thinking about retirement, the Financial Consumer Agency of Canada’s Planning and saving for retirement guide offers a starting point for comparing current and expected spending and links to a retirement income calculator. It can help you identify financial questions to explore; details about reducing hours may also need checking with your employer or pension administrator.
Alongside those practical questions, there may be a more personal one: “What am I hoping that extra time would make room for?” You might be thinking about rest, a relationship, an interest you keep postponing, or simply a week with fewer commitments. The answer may still be taking shape.
Practical information and personal understanding can develop alongside each other. You might learn that an arrangement is unavailable, or that it carries a cost you had not considered. That information becomes part of understanding the possibility. It does not make your wish for something different unworthy of attention.
A little more language for your experience
Returning to our fictional woman, she might eventually find words closer to what she meant at lunch: “I still enjoy my work. I want to understand why I am wishing it took up less of my week, and what a different arrangement would involve.”
That leaves several things open. She has not chosen a retirement date. She may still have questions about money, connection and how she wants to spend her time. But she has a more precise starting point for considering the information and suggestions available.
This is the kind of examination I am developing through The Damselfly Path: looking at one meaningful experience from different perspectives, with useful knowledge and the circumstances of a woman’s life kept in view. The understanding remains hers.
If this situation speaks to you, you might privately consider one question:
What am I trying to understand that the advice I have received has not yet addressed?
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